Gerri Atric's blog

In your face, Kate! Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman

Imagine my surprise when I was perusing NY Daily News and saw this article about Jon Gosselin hanging out in St. Tropez with his "girlfriend" Hailey Glassman. Are you kidding me?!? This chick is only 23 years old and she's OK dating a douchebag dad with EIGHT (often asshole) kids?! How can that be? When I was 23, I was drinking beers in eights, not dating guys who pump out kids in eights! He's not even divorced yet! And this isn't even the same 23-year-old that he was banging while he was married. It's a totally different 23-year-old. Despite his baggage and his gay earrings and his poser clothes, Jon must have something going on. Maybe that stereotype about Asians and their small penis size isn't true.

Seriously, though, I can't believe this chick actually wants to date Jon. She is the daughter of the guy who performed Kate's tummy tuck, so maybe the doc offered a trade ... free plastic surgery on the show which equals free publicity in exchange for his 23-year-old daughter. Hmmm.

Either way, this girl is an idiot. Think about it. First, Jon cheats on his wife with some trashy local (and lies about it), then he cheats on the trashy local with the tummy tuck daughter. Anyone else see a pattern here?

Jon Gosselin shows off new girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, while in St. Tropez

by Cristina Everett
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Sunday, July 12th 2009, 2:43 PM

 

Douchebag Gosselin

It didn’t take long for Jon Gosselin to bounce back from his broken marriage.

Less than three weeks after wife Kate Gosselin filed for divorce, the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" patriarch showed off a new girlfriend during a trip to St. Tropez on Saturday.

The 32-year-old father of eight traveled to the South of France with Hailey Glassman, the daughter of the doctor who performed his wife’s tummy tuck.

News of Gosselin’s new girlfriend may come as a shock to those following the "Jon & Kate" drama, as the other woman in question has been 23-year-old Deanna Hummel.

Even after news broke of Gosselin’s alleged affair with the school teacher, the couple continued to see each other, as well as take a snowboarding vacation to Utah in March.

While Gosselin’s relationship with Hummel became somewhat public, his "friendship" with Glassman went under the radar.

Gosselin denied any wrongdoing when he was photographed hanging out with Glassman and her mother, Lauren, at the Front Street Bar and Grill in Newburgh, NY on Memorial Day.

"The two women with whom I’ve been photographed are family friends," Jon told People.com. "Lauren’s husband, Dr. Larry Glassman, performed Kate’s tummy tuck surgery, and since the surgery we’ve become friendly with the Glassmans."

Apparently, Gosselin’s definition of "friendly" differs from most others.

An Ed Hardy-clad Gosselin and his 22-year-old new girlfriend were seen smoking cigarettes and holding hands while in the French Riviera, where they also took a ride on fashion designer Christian Audigier’s yacht.

 

The problem with reality TV

OK, so there are millions of problems with reality TV, but the one that bothers me the most is the way these "reality stars" talk. Half of a reality show is when the castmates are interviewed with some cheesy background. Nobody can just answer a question without a question! I think we need scripts for the reality show interviews to ban this type of answer. It's always the castmate repeating the question and then almost always answering with "absolutely!" For example:

• "Do I want to get engaged after dating a guy (who probably already has a girlfriend) four times? Absolutely!" - Jillian, the clueless Bachelorette with, um, the good personality? Watching her make out with these guys is disgusting! And I feel bad because NONE of the guys really like her. Poor Jill.
• "Do I think my ass is too big to marry a white guy? Absolutely!" - Kim Kardashian, who didn't seem to have too many questions in her sex tape. Well, you know, her mouth was full.
• "Am I embarrassed that I'm the first person to have sex in the house after which I immediately got a flare-up of herpes? Absolutely!" - Joey from The Real World Cancun. Dude one word ... Valtrex!
• "Did I have repeated sex with a crinkly, Viagra-popping, 132-year-old "playboy" in exchange for my GIANT fake boobs so that I could flash them ALL THE TIME no matter how uncomfortable it makes my new husband? Absolutely!" - Kendra "Tits" Wilkinson. I give that marriage six months!
• "Do I feel bad for berating, demeaning and pretty much yelling at my soon-to-be ex-husband every minute of our marriage? No, not really. I'm rich and famous and he deserved it!" - Kate Gosselin, who would never apologize for anything, including inflicting her ridiculous hairdo on American pop culture.

It's balls out summer in NYC!

Remember when I posted the below photo a friend of mine sent me of a nearly naked Speedo-wearing freak "hanging out" in the sun?

 

Ballsac

 

Well, here's one I took myself at the beach. This must be the fatter brother of the original Ballsac. I hope this is not becoming a trend. Seriously, at the beach lay on your back or your front or just sit up! Don't sprawl all over in a Speedo with your junk flying around!

 

Ballsac too

Something I've Never Seen in NYC

I know I haven't posted photos of weird people on public transportation in awhile. Give me a break! I'm grief-stricken over the death of our King of Pop and NOW the King of Infomercials, Billy Mays! Sales for Oxi-Clean and Orange-Glo will plummet! This has been a bad week for famous people.

Well, apparently, everyone else is too grief-stricken to leave their apartments, too, because I witnessed something I NEVER have or never thought I would in New York City. This is truly a once in a lifetime sight.

Here are photos I took on the bus, which usually include people with crazy hair, big eyebrows or ugly outfits. Imagine being on a New York City bus and seeing this. A completely empty bus! I was the ONLY person, besides the driver, on the bus. It was crazy! We flew up Third Ave.! There was no dinging of "stop" light. No annoying people with their asses or loud kids in my face. It was actually quite eerie and kinda creepy. I kind of felt dumb pressing the "stop" button, like the driver was probably rolling his eyes that I was making him stop

 

New York Wonder of the World

 

New York Wonder of the World 2

Remember this??????

OMG! In addition to his awesome career, remember how much Michael Jackson wanted to change the world for the better? I had forgotten how AWESOME this song/video is until just watching it again.

 

we are the world

It's weird because I honestly feel bad for all the young people who missed all the unbelievably awesome 80s music. Like, I know they can listen to it now, but they weren't there when MTV videos (NOT reality shows) were EVERYTHING to us! I actually remember the premiere of this video, as well as Thriller, etc. We used to have premeires for videos! And I did dance steps and air guitar and drums in my living room with my friends all day long to MTV. I'm pretty sure we even taped videos with our top-loading Beta recorder so we could play them over and over again.

Then, looking at this video I remember the artists that I loved so much back then, like Lionel Richie, who said the word "outrageous" 54 million times at the Grammys when he won pretty much every award in sight. I still listen to Can't Slow Down - Penny Lover is my fave. And I had totally forgotten about Paul Simon whom I loved so much even though he's only 4 inches tall. This was also back when Billy Joel was with Christie Brinkley. Seriously, he was, and he even sang about her in Uptown Girl.

Then, of course, was Kenny Loggins. LOVED HIM! And I had forgotten that Steve Perry was a part of this. He's quite possibly the greatest vocalist of all time. Why did he ever stop singing? He was so awesome! Also, Bruce Springsteen, who looks as if he's taking a dump during his solos, was super popular back then. I was nuts for Born in the USA. AND, could Cyndi Lauper bust out ANY MORE? She's awesome! I remember something about her being able to sing a million different octaves, AND she was super fun. Finally, what was the deal with Bob Dylan? He sucks and he's weird. I don't remember anything about him. 

Nevertheless, these poor kids who never got to truly live through all of this have really missed out. For once, I really am thankful that I'm old and got to rock out with all these artists, especially MJ! I might be a little bit more upset about his passing than I thought I was.  

They've done it again

I love someecards.com!

 

Someecards

Perez Douche-ton

Is everyone FINALLY over this douche, Perez Hilton? In the past week, he's fucked with the Black Eyed Peas - one of the most awesome groups EVER. AND then just today he posted his opinion that MJ's heart attack was fake and done as a promotional stunt. Really? Does anyone even still read Perez? He's an idiot! And his opinion is less important than a log's opinion - which is about the same level as my opinion (log not Hilton). Apparently, people are calling for a ban on reading Perez's blog. No prob here. I never read it anyway.

 

Perez Hilton Michael Jackson post

Stealing Thunder

OK, so I feel terrible for Farrah Fawcett that Michael Jackson died and stole all her thunder. And I feel bad for Ed McMahon that Farrah Fawcett AND Michael Jackson died, stealing his thunder. And, MOST OF ALL, I feel like shit for Jon and Kate Plus 8 that all these insensitive REAL celebrities died and stole their undeserved thunder. It's a sad day!

Black and White - the Best Michael Jackson Song

Well people, I SERIOUSLY mourn my beloved Michael Jackson!! Man, I got my groove on a million times to this man in my life. Clearly, he is an icon and one of the greatest singers/performers of all time. What's interesting to me, though, as I watch all the coverage with my friends in NYC, is the crowd gathered outside The Apollo in Harlem. They keep showing crowds of black people honoring Michael outside the theater, yet wait, was he really black when he died? I don't get it.

PS - My friends are making me post this!

I'm no microwave Julia Child

I have officially reached new heights (or lows) of laziness and incompetence. It's not bad enough that I live in a tiny NYC apartment with a tiny kitchen that NEVER gets used for cooking - my oven is used for storage, and my fridge is pretty much always empty. Now, I no longer can even tolerate microwave cooking. It's too annoying with all the weird directions. I just made this Healthy Choice frozen meal that had three different food courses - pasta, veggies and some apple crisp thing. According to the directions, I was supposed to peel a corner open of the apple section, then slit a hole in the broccoli part. Then cook the entree on high for 3-1/2 minutes (turning halfway through). THEN, I was supposed to stir the apple thing, recover and cook at 50% for another minute and a half. THEN, let the entree stand for 1 to 2 minutes and carefully remove the wrap before eating.

Seriously? This is supposed to be an easy "heat and eat" meal. I don't have the time nor the patience to follow all those directions. If I did I would just cook like a normal person! And how the hell do you set the microwave at 50%? I mean, I realize my microwave has a ton of buttons, but I've never actually used more than the numbers and the "start" and "stop" buttons. I can't be bothered with calibrating all sorts of settings on my microwave. I don't even want to know what all the other buttons are for.

In a rebellious stance, I didn't follow the directions exactly. In fact, I just shoved the entire dinner in the microwave, set it for 5 minutes and pressed "start." Of course, the dinner sucked, but it's a microwave dinner! It's supposed to suck, right? Or now do you have to have some sort of culinary talent to prepare a microwave meal? Will the community college be offering night and weekend courses on microwave cooking? Why must everything be so damn complicated!?